You can run (well, maybe YOU can)

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. (2 Cor 5:17)

I’ve spent the last ten years running from the person that I used to be.  I’m embarrassed by that person and try to leave her in the past, but she keeps catching up with me.  I don’t know how well I can describe the differences between the person that I am now and that person, but I’ll try (without going into too much detail, since I try to keep my posts family friendly for the most part).

Here are some things that I wasn’t.  I wasn’t nice.  I wasn’t loyal.  I wasn’t lovable or loving.  I wasn’t a good friend.  I wasn’t confident.  I wasn’t responsible.  I wasn’t realistic (though I thought I was).

And now some things that I was.  I was stupid.  I was lost.  I was scared.  I was foolish.  I was wrong (though I thought I was right).  I was trouble.

Of all the things that I did back then, I am most embarrassed by the fact that I led others down the same path that I was on.  It was a path of destruction and I thought that it was the way to go.  I think I truly believed that it was the only way (or at least I convinced myself of that).  I made some really bad decisions because I had abandoned God as a teen and so thought that I was the only one I had to answer to.  The foolishness of my youth!

I know that at least some of the changes that have happened in me have come about just due to aging and learning more about myself and the world around me.  I know, though, that the biggest thing that impacted my life and changed me (most definitely for the better) was gaining a relationship with Jesus.

It wasn’t easy.  Despite the fact that I didn’t like myself, I still ran into a lot of pride obstacles.  I won’t get into the details of how I overcame that pride, except to say that I couldn’t have done anything without my (now) husband–and, of course, without the help of the Holy Spirit.

Some things haven’t changed.  I’m still honest (and it is still sometimes to a fault).  I’m still disorganized.  I’m still hilarious (at least according to my hubby and my kids).  I still love music, though my relationship with it has changed.  I still struggle with depression, though it is less frequent now.  I still care deeply about the things that I am involved in (whatever that might be at a given time).  I still hold myself to high standards (and I still sometimes impose those standards on others).  I still make mistakes (more often than I like to admit).

So, for those of you who knew me back then, please take the time to get to know the new me.  I am an infinitely more likable person now than I was then.  I am, after all, a new creation.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Stacy F
    Jun 29, 2011 @ 20:02:01

    Everybody is weird during youth, don’t worry about it. I like old and new you!

    Reply

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