Mini-crisis (Jan 2007)

Okay, so that thing that I couldn’t talk about before, I talked to my husband, so I can elaborate now. Here goes: I want to have a baby. However, I know that my husband wants to pay off our debt before we start having kids. At our current rate of repayment we will have all of our loans (except the house) paid off in fifteen months. That is just too long for me. So, I need to increase my cash flow in order to pay off the debt faster. Here’s the crisis, though: I like my job. I really like my job and I’m pretty good at it. I don’t want to quit my job, but I will probably have to. My options are a.) quit my current job (which I like) and get a job that pays more (and probably I won’t like as much), or b.) keep my job and get a second job to supplement my current income. Neither option appeals to me, so it’s hard to figure out what to do. I don’t want to quit my job, but I can hardly handle working forty hours a week, let alone sixty with a second job. I know what I have to do, I just don’t want to do it.

Here’s the thing: I know this is the right thing to do. I went home to visit family and prayed a lot about how I want to be on the same page as my husband as far as starting a family is concerned. I prayed that God would change my husband’s heart if he was wrong and change mine if I was. He changed both. My husband is more open to having children now and I am willing to wait until our loans are paid off (as long as I can speed up the process). I’m not entirely happy with it, but he’s unwilling to budge and arguing is useless because it gets us nowhere. So, that’s where I am. Pray for me that God would lead me in the right direction as far as which jobs to apply for and such. It’s been a while since I have felt like I am in God’s will, but I’m very sure about this. I know it’s what He wants (both being debt-free and being one in spirit with my husband). I could use some encouragement, though, and strength. Guidance, too. Pretty much, I need a lot of help to really make this happen.


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